Longing for silence.

 ↳ As a child, she never knew how silence sounded like, but now she does. ·ﾟˊˎ

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genre: narrative. orphan!reader, foster home

warnings: none

word count: 883 words

request here 

prompt by Rozé

a/n: this was written for one of my essays for English class. I thought it would be nice to share it here. 

psa: 

• Everything written in my stories is 100% fictional (unless specified) and should NOT be associated with the characters/people in real life without permission from the author. 

• Plagiarism is NOT allowed and if caught, it will be acted upon. Even though I write for fun and treat it as a way to unwind, I don't appreciate it when other people forge my work and repost it onto other websites claiming it as their own. IF you wish to share my work kindly share the link to my website instead of copy and pasting my content. 

• If the work is rated M or NSFW (for mature content) kindly read it at your own risk especially if you are underaged. I will not be held responsible if you take offence to any of the content that falls underneath the rated M category.

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Longing for Silence.

“Silence is a source of great strength” was a phrase my foster mother would often quote at the dining table, in an attempt to shut my ‘siblings’ up whenever they got too rowdy. But of course, it never worked. To them, it was all just a bunch of gibberish. I've been living in a foster home for as long as my 15-year-old mind could remember, I’ve seen kids come and go and hoped my turn would come soon. But for some reason, here I am, still stuck in this small, 2-floor abode that’s no more than 5 clicks away from the main city. Being the oldest child here, I’ve come to terms with the fact that silence did not exist in this household, it never did and most probably never will. Because once the kids are tucked away, that’s when the older teens come out to play. They’d run their mouths about how attractive a certain somebody was in their chemistry class until the sun started to rise. If it’s not them then it would be the never-ending construction outside my window. 

Everyone in this household had seemed to be hell-bent on making some sort of noise, to the point I had forgotten what it felt like to be surrounded by complete silence. I had expressed this concern to my foster father once only to be dismissed. “Be grateful that you have people to grow up with!” He said, but that had only made me long for it even more. Occasionally, I would catch myself imagining how it would feel to not hear anything, how it would feel like to be surrounded by the sound of nothingness. I had grown to accept the truth, the truth that nobody would be taking me away from this place—I was already too grown

But lucky for me, I was wrong. It was a couple of days before my sixteenth birthday, my foster parents took me by the hand and introduced me to the people that I would be living with for the rest of my life. I was taken aback, to say the least. I had practically convinced myself that I was already too old to be taken in by a new family. The whole process was a blur, my mind wasn’t absorbing anything. Everything only started making sense the moment I got into their car. This family looked pretty well-off, the interior of the 4-rider was spotless, not a speck of dust in sight. But it lacked the one thing I was looking for—Silence. The entire car ride was just 80’s music playing in the background while my new parents asked me countless questions that I had left unanswered. 

I didn't feel like answering any of their questions. Hell, I barely knew them. I sealed my lips the entire ride as I stared out the window. Seeing the box I stayed in for the past 15 years grow smaller and smaller by the second. The view of the foster home fading into the distance, just like my memories. After the half an hour drive, we were finally nearing their house. I mean, my house. To say that it was big would be an understatement. We were a couple hundred metres away from it yet it still looked enormous. This house had put the word 'colossal' to shame. I didn't know how to feel. Impressed or confused? Impressed cause they're probably loaded with cash to afford a home this big. Or confused as to why a couple without any children(before me) would even need a mansion of this size. Nevertheless, that was none of my business.

I stepped out of the vehicle and stared at the mansion before me. I guess I got lucky. But what surprised me wasn’t the size of the house, but how quiet it was. My foster home had barely been able to fit the 10 of us, and yet it still was loud enough to drive a person mad. However, this house could easily fit a thousand individuals and somehow I couldn't even hear a squeak. The housemaid brought me to my new room. And if it was even humanly possible, that room was quieter than the rest of the house. It felt as if I had plugged my ears with some sort of noise-cancelling headphones the moment she had shut the door. I plopped myself onto the queen-sized bed, my body sinking into the mattress almost immediately. 

Slowly my heartbeat started to slow down, all the tension in my shoulders started to seep out and away from my body. I felt calm and relaxed like never before. It was so quiet to the point I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears. Silence was usually associated with being suffocating and awkward. But in reality, all it does is elevate the sounds you wouldn’t be able to hear on the regular. Whether it be your pulse that resonates in your ear, the soft grinding of your teeth, or the barely audible rustle of your clothes as you shift in place. Silence gave me the tranquillity that nothing else could have provided. In this world of noiselessness, all the anxiety and voices that were in my head had ceased to exist, leaving behind absolutely nothing but fulfilment. 

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masterlist┊26.01.21